


Body Count

by thisisallbullshit



Series: Everything's Okay [8]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Humor, M/M, Misunderstandings, can be read as stand-alone fic, srry this is short as all fuck but i've had this idea in my head for a while
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-17
Updated: 2017-09-17
Packaged: 2018-12-31 01:11:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12121290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisisallbullshit/pseuds/thisisallbullshit
Summary: A simple question leads to a wild misunderstanding.





	Body Count

The boys were watching an action movie in the Gallagher living room when a question popped into Ian’s head. “Hey, Mick?”

“Hmm?” Mickey replied, eyes not leaving the TV.

“What’s your body count?”

Mickey turned to look at Ian, eyebrows raised. “My body count?”

“Yeah.”

“You really wanna know?”

Ian shrugged. “Sure, I’m curious.”

Mickey bit his lip, before eventually saying, “Four.”

Ian frowned. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Mickey mumbled, cheeks a little pink.

“Huh,” Ian said thoughtfully, “I was expecting a higher number.”

Mickey scoffed. “The fuck you think I am?”

Ian shrugged.

There was a pause where they both went back to the movie, until, to Mickey’s dismay, Ian asked another question on the subject. “More men or women?”

“Only one woman.”

“Really?”

Mickey rolled his eyes. “Yeah. I didn’t want to, but my dad was around, so, ya know, the circumstances called for it.”

Ian hummed thoughtfully and they went back to the movie again. After a few minutes, Ian opened his mouth to speak again, and Mickey internally cringed. “Out of fairness, I should probably tell you that mine is 12.”

Mickey choked on the mouthful of beer he’d just swallowed, pausing the moving and turning to face Ian completely. “ _What_?”

Ian shrugged. “My body count. It’s 12.”

“Bull _shit_!” Mickey exclaimed.

Ian raised an eyebrow. “What, you don’t believe me?”

“No!” Mickey shouted, seriously having trouble wrapping his brain around this information, “When did you ever—?”

“Mostly during the last time you were in juvie.”

Mickey stared at his boyfriend. “Un-fucking-believable.”

Ian’s cheeks heated. “What? I got around. It’s not really something I’m proud of.”

Mickey laughed humorlessly. “Yeah, I don’t know many people proud of this kind of thing.”

Ian rolled his eyes, starting to get a little angry with his boyfriend. “Well you don’t have to be an ass about it.”

“ _An ass_?” Mickey asked incredulously. “Well, shit, _sorry_ I’m a little shocked that you’ve killed 12 people!”

Ian blanched. “ _Killed?_ What the fuck are you talking about?”

“You just said you’ve killed 12 people!”

“No, I said my _body count_ is 12!”

Mickey felt like he was going to explode with frustration. “Exactly! Body count is the number of people you’ve killed!”

Ian gaped at Mickey. “Jesus, what the fuck? No, it’s the number of people you’ve fucked!”

“According to _who_?”

“Everybody, you psycho!” Ian shouted incredulously, “Who goes around making conversation about the amount of people you’ve killed?”

Mickey snorted. “You, apparently.”

“I didn’t—!”

“Well I know that _now._ Jesus.”

They both took a deep, calming breath, still staring at each other, attempting to wrap their heads around their short, yet exhausting, conversation.

“So,” Mickey started after a moment, “you’ve really fucked 12 people?”

“You’ve really _killed_ four people?” Ian retorted.

Mickey felt his cheeks go warm again. “You know I—fuck. You know I didn’t want to, right? My dad—”

“Yeah,” Ian nodded, “I get it.”

There was another long, awkward pause.

Finally, Ian broke the silence, “Can we go back to the movie now?”

“ _Please._ ”


End file.
